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  • tornlineage43

Checked Out





What I need the most? This is a easy answer I can give at the drop of a dime. A vacation where I can be free to write, dream, read, rest, recuperate and most importantly be unbuttoned by responsibility. I know this sounds selfish, and it is. I know this and agree with you wholeheartedly. My daily life is consisting of helping others, where my own needs are put on back burner most of the time. I am not unhappy or ungrateful for my life or the position I am currently in. One, my uncle did not ask to be born with lacking oxygen that prevented him from allowing his brain to develop fully. That is my job, he is my ward. I am his caretaker, nephew, power of attorney and have his best interests into the day I can not endure anymore. For me this is one of our deaths. Simple as that. I am here to aid and assist him. No questions ask. Yes, it is a thankless job. Sure, some days it is frustrating. Imagine having a kid ( age 4 to 8). If you ever been around a child this age, well, it describes my uncle David's manner and demeanor. He wants constant praise for simple task 24/7, 365 days. So this gets stale fast. My point here is to explain or help shine a picture on my daily situation where I most provide love, protection, attention, and validation. This is the job of a parent. I know this. I get it. It is at the heart of my love, duty and understanding of our relationship. It is never ending. I get it. Trust me. I did not make this choice lightly. Now, what I am hoping you are getting s glimpse of. This older man born before I was a thought between my parents relies on me to care for him. I would do it just the same all over again. For the ones we love, there is no need to ask. What I am hoping you are grasping, is my circumstances. My uncle David needs me; I however, do not need him. Some would say leave him behind. Put him in a home. Don't worry or care so hard. This is not an option for the way or level of love I am and do give. A few people have told me this. David and I have gone on trips that I want/ desire together. I can go solely, which I also do as well. Trawling is my passion. I plan to do it. David included or not, but since he is a package deal with me. He comes and I don't even have have wonder where he will be. Tagging alongside me as I explore new places. This to some is odd. Who gives a flying fuck is my response. He is family. David is loved and cared for in a way to allow him to live so richly he does not know he is without. He is treated as any other person in some respects and as a war in others. David can not make his own choices like food choices. He would eat fried chicken and drink a litter of coke of allowed daily. With me, nope and never. His blood pressure is incredible, his health is that of a teenage, and his seizures are a thing of the past. As long as I am alive and caring for David, he will live well and beyond any normal (average) person. Traveling will be a yearly if not more experience. Going to parks, beaches, libraries, art museums, the gym, or anywhere else most people make excuses why they can not go, will not be a obstacle. David will live like a king. In my mind and eyes, he is; and, will be treated as such. I just had to get these words out. They something seem like my wishes, duty, and options are limited. Nothing is limited as long as I have fate and trust in the universe. Life will be merry. Just watch and see.

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