Forgotten

Coming from a big family, it is easy to be overlooked or not shine as bright as the first born. This is the case for me. I am a middle child. I have six brothers. That has and does not bother me. I love them all. We are all different and unique. The main issue I have is being similar to them, or being stereotyped. This happens a lot for most black men. I am no stranger to this cause or disturbance. My main problem is the fact, I am my own person and sometimes being in a closet knit family is exhausting. Always being present, concerned, and responsible. I am OVER it. Some days I just want to get in my car and drive. Leave my phone and all the stress they bring me. This isn't to say, I don't love them. It is just a lack of perspective and consideration how their actions have consequences. Being a older sibling was not in the cards for me. I am not respected as an older brother. Being born a certain year or having particular wisdom is useless. The meaning is lost with family. How they see you. An embarrassing antidote from when a person is 8 is not the same as the person they have become. It is a never ending cycle of proving yourself to your family, where a stranger to note your intelligence or experience. These things make all the difference how the world receives you and how one can operate in the world.