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Updated: Apr 8, 2021

Deandre Dean

1st March 2021

Dear Reader,

Thanks for tuning in. We all have heartaches and stories of loss. For me, this seems to be my default. I am not going to complain, but tell a story that maybe some of you have felt and can relate to. Love is what fuels us. It can drive us to great heights and inspires, but the downside is so deep and vast.

Have I had my heart broken? Oh, that is too easy, lol. Yes, I have. I think the most giving lovers and partners come from pain, anguish, and a story they can tell that has left its mark/wound forever lodged in their heart. I have my own delightful and fun stories, some might be listed in the pages of my books. SSh, don’t tell nobody!

Much like love, dating is a part of the formula to get to love. That has always been my understanding. Until, I thought of the most interesting idea that some people don’t quite grasp, arranged marriages. I always felt and still do, they are a great relationship builder, but I think I want that movie star love story. I want an, meet cute, something to tell the grandkids. That was my idea at 16 and stayed the same until I was around 32 years old.

Now as I entered the age 34, I think I am a fool. My parents know me pretty well and maybe perhaps they know what is best for me. This idea is simple and wise for some, complicated for others, and insane for some. Some cultures have arranged marriages and Westerners judge as if we have success at marriage. It is a complicated subject, but having talked to some people and friends in arranged marriages, sign me up. Happiness and similarities.

I have had blind dates, speed dating, causal sex, online dating, hook-ups, and lists of the ideal partners. What was brought to my attention that I will share, what is a common error. Me! So, am I the problem? In a sense, the simple response is yes. I had listes with high expectations of a partner. That has changed some with time. I am more flexible, and have a willingness to not be so strict. I still crave someone with a sense of humor, loves to travel, and understands I need my creative space. Those are some things I can not back-down from.

So in summary, perspective can help us see patterns that need to be broken. I’m a huge fan of therapy and go to a therapist. We all have wounds that need tending to. Love is out there, but don’t let it consume you. My happiness is tied to my pride in my work, writing, and the kindness I give to others while I am alive. This is my legacy.

-Deandre Dean

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